SKAVEN IN OUR WORLD!

So you think Skaven only exist in the Warhammer Universe, do you? You think it's safe to go into the subway or down into the basement without having to worry about rodents that are smarter than you are lurking, biding their time, planning their overthrow of humankind?

Well, the Skaven are in our world. Black plague? Isn't it interesting that the disease engineered by Clan Pestilens also appeared in our world? The Skaven of Earth are currently smaller than their Warhammer counterparts, but they will no doubt grow in time. Already they are just as smart as the larger Skaven, and as ambitious. Even their mottos are evidence that they, cleverly disguised as lab animals, are plotting to dominate the human race.

"We Shall Inherit!" cry the Skaven of Warhammer. "Neek-Neek!"

"We'll do the same thing we do every night--try to take over the world!" cry the Skaven of Earth. "Narf-Narf!"

Yes, it's true--you only think Warner Brothers invented Pinky and the Brain. Actually, these two harmless-looking vermin have overthrown the WB execs. They now control this huge branch of the entertainment empire. The "Pinky and the Brain" show is actually a plot involving mind control--it serves the purpose of creating the idea in people's minds that the very idea of rodents taking of the world is rediculous. If no one thinks rodent world-domination is possible, they will be unprepared for it when it happens!

Those of you who are fans of the show may cry out, offended that I dare tarnish the image of these "cute" mice. Your reaction is proof that their plan has worked on you! "But wait," you may say, "It is only Brain who seeks to take over the world! Pinky is innocent, a wacky but lovable sidekick!" Have you ever heard of "Good cop, bad cop?" Besides, take a look at this picture:

Does Pinky look so innocent, wacky and lovable now?

Pinky and the Brain are not the only ones. Others, more secretive, are lurking below the ground, creating vast cities of vermin, while the more visible Pinky and the Brain do the brainwashing. These are the "rats of NIMH." Robert C. O'Brien wrote the book "Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH." Don Bluth made the cartoon movie version, "The Secret of NIMH." It is whispered that O'Brien and Bluth are both agents of the Skaven. Again, this is an effort of the Skaven's part to cover up their operations--make it look like fiction, they cleverly thought, and no one will ever believe it is really happening.

In both the book and the movie, a number of rats are given injections and training in a laboratory to make them larger, longer-lived, and, most importantly, more intellegent. Whether or not the Skaven in our world came from such beginnings is not as important as the fact that they are bigger, longer-lived, and more intellegent. They know how to read. They use electricity. (See? They're ahead of their Warhammer counterparts!) They devise intricate plans to build an enormous city in Thorn Valley (rumored to be located within the confines of the infamous Area 51). They are huge, fierce fighters and skilled mages. Just take a look at these pictures:

. . . . .

Brutus (left) is a vile Stormvermin, and Nicodemus (right) is a Grey Seer.
As you can see, they are also recruiting
nice, normal mice like Mrs. Frisby (Brisby
in the movie) into their vile schemes.

After escaping from the lab, the rats say, they lived for a time both in a tinker's truck (filled with wind up toys and other simple machines, which is where their learned much of their mechanic skills) and the house of a vacationing family (where they learned much of the human world from books). Then they came to live under a farmhouse for many years, creating machines and magic, stealing electricity, and during these years, no one suspected what they were up to!

The "rats of NIMH" claim that they mean no harm to the humans. Oh, no, of course not! Let's forgive the humans for the way they have been trying to exterminate us for centuries! Nicodemus tells Mrs. Frisby that, had humans not evolved into the dominant creature first, it would be rats that took over the earth. Why would he mention this if not because he was jealous? If not that he planned to become the dominant creature? It sounds much like an explanation of "We Shall Inherit!" to me.

Still don't believe? Here is more proof, submitted by a mysterious Skaven agent known as "Mike," who cites the 1999 Guiness Book:

"The number of rats in the world today is roughly equal to the number of humans (about 5.3 billion), but will increase more rapidly in the future. One 1993 British survey estimates that rat infestations in large towns have increased by 43% in the last 20 years!"

I tell you these secrets merely to prepare you. There is no escape. Those among the humans who are wise will give up now, and become agents of the Skaven if they are to have any hope of surviving.